Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Ninjas and Naysayers

There is a clothing conspiracy against me.

Case #1: Throughout Middle School and High School, occasionally I would find that a favorite piece of clothing had disappeared. When pressed, my mom would tell me that the item had "shrunk in the wash", was "too stained", or my personal favorite, that she "hadn't seen it". In reality, I suspect that my mother, aka "the ninja" just didn't like those clothes and had seen to it that they disappear.

Case #2: Two summers ago I backpacked Europe with some friends from school. I brought along some great, very versatile sweatpants as part of my clothing rotation. My friends made fun of them so much and so often that eventually they convinced me to just get rid of them. In reality, those sweatpants were both awesome and comfortable and my friends were just jealous.

Case #3: Missing socks. OK, so everyone has this problem and it's not really a good example, but 2 cases is hardly enough to build evidence of a conspiracy.

Suffice to say I wish people would stop being jealous of my awesome clothes and trying to bring me down to their level of fashion.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

That's what I had in my head about the army pajama/beach/workout pants i had in Hawaii. You know, the "heinous" ones.

Chanel said...

Favorite line: "all of my friends were just jealous!"

I could hear your tone perfectly and agreed with you whole-heartedly. And would have personally stolen them in the night and burned them before you woke up. Like Sue Sylvester, I'm out to teach people lessons, Jess.